Just Jen

This week in life group the word "intentional" was brought up. It was a word that was on the heart of my friend this week and now it is a word that is on my heart... and I absolutely LOVE this word. It has such a strong meaning and when lived out is even stronger. The definition of intentional is "something done purposefully that is deliberate and planned." You can be intentional in everything you do. You can be intentional in your words, actions, thoughts, relationships, jobs, etc. Being intentional takes effort, but wow is it worth it. If we weren't intentional, we wouldn't grow. We would be stuck in the same patterns, which could lead us to distance, unhappiness, and brokenness. It would lead us backwards instead of forwards. Being intentional doesn't only mean being purposeful though, it also means being truthful. It means being truthful with your own heart and communicating that truth intentionally to yourself and others. If we aren't in...

This last week I had someone from my past reach back out to me. You know how it is - when you don't talk to someone anymore that you used to care so much for and you think about what it’s going to be like when you do see/hear from them again. How is my heart going to react? Will it hurt? Will it be awkward? What will I say? I am sure you have all been there before and know exactly what I am talking about. So I got a call from this person and it came completely out of the blue. I wasn't expecting it at all, in fact I didn't even know who it was when I answered. But when I heard the voice/name I was like “OK, this is happening now.” And what was surprising to me was that after that first element of surprise, I didn't really feel much at all. It definitely didn't hurt and wasn't as awkward as I built it up to be in my head. I was talking to a familiar voice from the past, a memory, but not to someone I know anymore. Everything I once felt for this per...

As I sat in church this past week, the guest pastor said something that was a revelation in my own heart. He made the statement... "Nowhere in scripture are we told to trust other people" WOW! We build relationships on trust, so how can that be? Trust is the one thing that keeps relationships alive. If you don't have trust, conflict arises in your heart, which can hurt/end relationships. I know many relationships in my life that were broken due to my trust in the other person being betrayed. But in reality, by putting my trust in people I was holding them to a standard that no human can live up to. I was setting them up for failure right from the get go because we are all sinners that make mistakes. Also, by holding them to this unattainable standard I was hurting myself because I was setting myself up to be let down every time. So, instead of putting our trust in people, let's put our trust in the one who is always good and never fails. Trust...

This week I came across a quote by Will Smith that really stood out to me. This quote is... "Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you, and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too." This stood out to me because lately I have really been working on praying when feelings of judgement and dislike come into my heart. Instead of letting these feelings take over and consume me, I will stop and pray instead. I will pray for God to help me work through these feelings and for Him to make a presence in the hearts of the ones I have these feelings towards as well. I will pray that He work in their hearts to help them establish/build a relationship with Him because I had someone do that for me - and it was the best thing anyone has ever done for me. This shows that the power of prayer is real, that God never disappoints and is always good! So instead of letting these feelings build up, let go and l...

Have you ever tried fitting in, but it never felt quite right no matter how hard you tried? That's because we were made to stand out, not fit in. As humans, we want so badly to feel included and be liked that we will change who we are to fit in. We will do something that we know isn't right so we can be "cool" in someone else's eyes. We will change our looks to try to uphold this unattainable image of beauty society has created. We will change what makes us unique to be more "normal" because we think "normal" is going to make people like us more. At least this has been a struggle for me throughout my life and the more I have "fit in" the further away I have felt from my true self. And like I said earlier, this is because we were made to stand out, not fit in. God gave us unique qualities to show off to the world, not to hide or change them. He gave us these qualities for a reason and if we embrace our uniqueness and how God ma...

When I allowed Jesus into my heart, I really began to ask myself why I was so resistant to do so in the past. I think a main reason is because I was afraid of what He would see. I never felt good enough and thought that He only wanted to see the best of me. This has been my way of thinking for as long as I can remember, and it is hard for me to open up to people because of this. I am a bit of a perfectionist and don't like people seeing my flaws. Or, when I do finally open up to someone, it seems to never be good enough and that they always want something more from me. They either want me to be more fun, more decisive, more accepting, more ready, more mature, more talkative, more knowing, etc. The more they want from me, the more I feel like I have to change to meet their wants. I try so hard but it never seems to be good enough, which is devastating for me because I strive for that perfection. I am also a people pleaser and will compromise my own happiness if that means it makes...

Recently, Jordan Lee, a writer, speaker, and Jesus freak who happens to be one of my favorite women to follow on social media, posted this statement… " You are allowed to be completely broken and full of joy, simultaneously. " ... and that statement struck a chord in my heart because that was exactly how I have felt all summer. This summer was full of changes for me. I graduated college, got my first full-time job, moved to Omaha, lost my grandpa, had people walk out of my life, met new people, strengthened relationships with people that I have known for a long time... it was a rough summer but an exciting one at the same time. And I think for this reason it happened to be the best summer. I believe that if you allow yourself to truly feel without suppressing or hiding what you are feeling is when real growth begins. This summer I have felt relief, anger, sadness, loneliness, confusion, jealousy, joy, happiness, excitement, surprise, love, contentment, etc. I was ...